🌧️ How to finally fill in your emotional void

Can material success truly fulfill us, or is it merely a mirage masking an emotional void? Join me, Christina Modaffari, as I take you on a journey to unravel the common misconception that external achievements equal happiness. Through a poignant session with a VIP client, we unravel why even the most successful individuals often feel an inner emptiness. Discover how childhood experiences shape our emotional landscapes and why genuine joy comes not from the destination but from embracing the journey itself.

For those with roots in immigrant families, the relentless pursuit of success may feel like an inherited legacy. We explore how unmet emotional needs from childhood can set us on a treadmill of achievement, never quite reaching fulfillment. By consciously raising our happiness baseline, we can transcend the hustle culture and find contentment in personal growth. Learn how those with fulfilled emotional needs navigate their ambitions with gratitude and why addressing emotional voids is essential for true self-fulfillment.

Living in the moment may seem cliché, but it holds the key to true abundance. When we shift our focus from an unending chase for future success to the richness of the present, we tap into our inner power. Let go of the ego and realize the abundance that already resides within you. Aligning with our authentic selves naturally attracts the life we dream of. This episode is an invitation to harness your inner strength, embrace the chaos, and find fulfillment within.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Real Point of Manifestation
• 7:27 The Journey to Self-Fulfillment
• 13:08 The Present Moment
• 18:46 Unleashing Inner Power for Abundance

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Hot Genius Guide to Manifesting. I'm your host, christina Modafari, and in today's episode I will have to be actually letting you listen in on the recording. On the original of this episode, I recorded five minutes of gold for you, but then I forgot to put my phone on airplane mode and the recording got disconnected halfway and I thought, normally I would like start again. You know all the things and I'm like no, you know what. I'm sitting here telling everyone to embrace the chaos. I'm sitting here telling everyone to ride with the wave. So what better way to teach that than to literally embody that and show you how that's done in real life? So what I've decided to do instead is give you this introduction and then I'm going to get you, we're going to listen together on the six minutes that I had already recorded, and then I'm just going to like continue from there. How does that sound? Does that sound like a good idea? I think so. Yeah, I think good minds think alike. All right, let's, without further ado, let's get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Hot Genius Guide to Manifesting. I'm your host, christina Modafari, and today's episode is about getting you to understand what is the point of all of this. What is the point of manifestation, what is the point of healing? What is the damn point? So strap yourself in, because it's going to be a short but potent episode. I wanted an episode for you to be able to listen to and come back to as a pick-me-up for whenever things get hard, so that is why I'm structuring this episode in this way, and so this is inspired by a conversation I had with one of my VIP private clients for their manifestation dream life mentorship that I do, and it was so powerful and I thought it would just be a disservice if I didn't share this with you as well. Okay, so let's get straight into it.

Speaker 1: 1:49

A lot of the time, people think that the point of manifestation, a point of healing, is to, you know, be rich physically, to have all material things, to get the recognition or fame of some sort, um, and you know, fortune, let's say, wealth, not understanding that there is a reason why most people who do get fame and fortune don't feel fulfilled. In fact, they feel less fulfilled than ever, which is why Tony Robbins says that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure, and so what I mean by this is that there are so many people out there, such as, you know, celebrities, um, millionaires, multi-billionaires, you name it. I'm not saying everyone, but a portion, a decent amount of these people, um, who, once they achieve their dream life right, they actually experience this sense of emptiness now because they they realized a really painful truth, and it's that their answer really wasn't what they thought it was. Their answer to the emotional void that they spent their, you know, entire life trying to fill through these achievements, through these levels of wealth and fame, actually wasn't the answer. And this is why, you'll see, it's very common, for, you know, incredibly successful celebrities or business people who achieve, like, above average level of wealth. They will end up with severe mental illness, they will end up with substance abuse, they will end up with addiction, will end up with substance abuse, they will end up with addiction and some of them even go bankrupt. And you know there's more intense, dramatic things that happen that I don't need to mention that. You can just put two and two together about Now. The reason why this happens to those people is because they are the same people not understanding the point of manifestation, they don't understand the point of life and they don't understand the the point of even achieving goals in the first place, you know, because the point of it isn't, again, the outcome, it's actually to learn to become emotionally independent of the outcome. And by becoming so emotionally independent and fulfilled, despite your circumstances, you naturally get to enjoy the process and journey of achieving really amazing circumstances, right?

Speaker 1: 4:13

And when I say be emotionally independent, what I mean is that some of us, when we grow up and we didn't get our needs met as children, we become adults who have an emotional void within ourselves. This emotional void is something I personally experienced, my clients experience and I'd say roughly about 50% of the population experience, and this void, once again, is caused from childhood. And essentially, let me give you the basics of this. So before I continue, guys, I just wanted to quickly say that that white noise in the background was my little personal cooler, so I just turned that down, so hopefully that's better.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Anyway, let's go back to it. We're almost we've got two minutes left when it comes to a human developing and I don't mean like for a human to be perfect, but just to develop into a competent, confident adult who's constantly feeling like they're satisfied, regardless of what part of their life's journey they are on. The only way an adult can achieve this again not perfection, just the competence and the satisfaction of their life experience is that, as a child, their parent mirrored back to them themselves and their reality. And what I mean by this in a very specific example, if you were a child and, let's say, you fell off the swings and you started crying because now your knee hurts really badly, and then your parent or your mom, whatever looks at you as you're crying and puts a sad face and says okay, you're sad, of course you're sad, it's okay, be sad, this hurts, I know, I know. Right, if your parent didn't react like that every single time or most times that you felt an emotional experience, be that happiness or sadness, okay, then your brain didn't get a chance to understand that it's a hundred percent real.

Speaker 1: 6:04

What this is translated translated to you'll hear a lot, um, I guess, in psychology is that the person doesn't have a strong sense of self. Do you get me strong sense of self? It's. And then these people feel like they are missing something and they feel like there's an emotional void within them. And these people are trying to now fill that void because they literally do feel like, if you know, if to your personality or who you are, is like downloading. Throughout childhood, you're downloading, never got to a hundred percent competency and wholeness, it kind of just lag and stop at 30. So the brain has been subconsciously trying to fill that in through external things instead of realizing it's an internal problem. And so this is when you become an adult you feel like something's missing and you're trying to fill in that void and you go ahead and try and become addicted to, you know, being a high achiever, like constantly wanting the next goal, wanting to make the next amount of money, wanting to get the next achievement, the next promotion, and nothing is ever enough, literally, because you're confusing an internal problem and you're trying to fix an internal problem with an external solution and you cannot fix an internal problem. I was going to say is that you cannot fix an internal problem with an external solution. So, welcome back to the present moment. We are going to continue this conversation.

Speaker 1: 7:27

So, as I was saying, is that it is so important that we understand the point of all of this, guys, like the point of life, the point of achieving goals, the point of manifesting our reality, the point of healing. You know it's not to fill in this emotional void that, once again, 50% of manifesting our reality, the point of healing, you know, it's not to fill in this emotional void that, once again, 50% of the population, unfortunately, will have, just inevitably, you know, um, because not everyone's going to have parents who are able to do that, for several reasons. It's not because we have bad parents, it's nothing to do with that. You know, some, some parents or some people don't have the opportunity to learn these skills. No one tells them that, and you know, if you're a millennial even, you know we were part of a generation where our parents were immigrants. Right, they came from a lot of us. A lot of our families came from poverty, and so they had to focus on keeping a roof over our heads. So they literally did the best they could, but they weren't able to be there emotionally, and unfortunately it's.

Speaker 1: 8:22

It doesn't matter about intent. Someone can love you so much, but love is not enough to make sure that a child grows up to be a competent and healthy, fulfilled adult. Okay, and that's where your power comes in, because it all begins with awareness, and with that awareness you can now know what I'm about to say. Next, you can change this. Okay, that's the good news. It doesn't matter if you were not, um, you didn't have parents who could allow your brain to develop and your sense of self to develop fully. You now, as an adult, as a developed human with a really powerful machine between your ears, which is your brain, have the ability to finish the downloading process, so to speak, so that you can fulfill yourself emotionally and understand that if you feel like even 1% of you will feel more fulfilled with, like, having more money if you were to achieve your dream life, then maybe fulfilled is the wrong word. But if you feel like you'd be happier, um, and more proud of yourself than what you are, with what you have right now, in your current circumstances and that is usually the generalized way to tell if you're someone who was also affected by this Okay and so, because the truth is this, yeah, if you don't, if you're not happy with what you have right now, you honestly will not be happy with what you will get. It's just the way the brain works.

Speaker 1: 9:39

We have this thing called a happiness baseline and essentially what this means is that we all have sort of like a default setting of the baseline of happiness that you feel over your lifetime. So this baseline means that no matter what happens in your life, be that positive or negative, you'll always fall back to your average feeling of happiness. So this is why, when you say you buy like your dream car, and it literally was like so exciting, and then you got over it two weeks later. Two weeks later it's like, hey, you know, I got my dream car. Cool, it's so normal. Um, and then you sort of onto the next goal. And this also means that when you go through a tragedy in your life cause it could also work in your favor where, I don't know, let's say something, really you lost someone in the family. You'll feel the grief, whatever else, and then eventually you're going to go back to your happiness baseline. That's just. You can see the, I guess, point of our brains having the ability to do that. It's just normal. We're always going to fall back to our average happiness baseline.

Speaker 1: 10:38

Now, in saying all of that, you can actually change your baseline, and that's essentially what you should be doing. You should be focusing on increasing your happiness baseline so that you're not addicted to success and achievement, because you're really just chasing the chemical version of what you are going to say and confuse for fulfillment when that's not really fulfillment. True fulfillment is not necessarily based on material things as much as it is based on how you feel about yourself. Yeah, and that's again why so many people can have the most amazing job, they can have the most amazing family and they can sit there and tell you if they were being honest with themselves. I don't know why, but I still feel like it's not enough. I don't feel fulfilled, I feel like I feel guilty, I feel like I should be fulfilled, but I'm not. What's wrong with me? And it's, there's nothing wrong with them it's that their brain hasn't developed yet, because of their childhood, a strong sense of self and identity, of who they are, and they have not been able to, um, thus learn how to fulfill their emotional void. And you do that by, again, awareness, understanding this very powerful concept.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Because essentially what this whole like hustle culture is accidentally promoting is, I'm going to guess, the hustle culture was actually created by people who had this emotional void, and that's why, if you actually look at the statistics and the correlation between children who didn't get their needs met with high achievers, you'll see there's a direct correlation right, this search for more, this insatiable hunger for success. That's a trauma response, right? And so I'm not saying that it's impossible to be ambitious if you had a good childhood, because it's not impossible. But what I'm saying is that people who have their needs met as children, if they are ambitious people by personality, then it's going to be from a sense of like chillness, like they'd be happy with or without it. It's like chill you know what I mean Like it's not, like you must get it, you must be this successful. It's like I'm happy with what I have, but like it'd be pretty fucking sick if I got more than this. Cool, it's like that ability to feel grateful for what you have while also being excited for what's to come, you know. And that's the healthy balance that you want. And I'm here to remind you one more time it doesn't matter if you didn't get that already in childhood. You can develop that right now. Once again, step one is actually having this conversation with me. Right now, it's doing this sort of work. It's developing awareness, because awareness is, honestly, most of the work.

Speaker 1: 13:08

And now let's go deeper into this. So let's let's go back to understanding what I was talking about when I was mentioning how so many people who you know, achieve fame and fortune, like they literally become so empty because now think about it, right. You cannot escape into the future. You can't escape into this fantasy that doesn't exist. You have no choice but to deal with the present moment, and and the the constant chase of success is just a way to avoid the present moment. Like really hear that you know if you and it makes logical sense. Avoid the present moment. Like really hear that you know if you, and it makes logical sense.

Speaker 1: 13:48

People put their dream life, um, in the future and they put it on a pedestal and they make it separate to them Almost like a carrot. You're just chasing this carrot over and over again where you, technically, are triggering yourself because you'll never eat the carrot. Um, it's just a distraction and an avoidance tactic that the brain has from dealing with our real problems, and our real problems are always, are always listen to me are always an emotional void, and it's always coming from childhood. That's all. It is right. And so you got to really remember this. You got to remember that if you can understand the why, if you can understand why nothing ever feels enough for you, if you can understand why you feel like, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to ever catch up to your future. It's like you're constantly chasing yeah, like if you don't get the reason why your subconscious is doing that, you'll never be able to stop it. And so the way that you now stop it is by eating the damn carrot in the present moment. Stop waiting for the future. The future is now, because it's just that simple. And understand that you have been avoiding the present moment, right?

Speaker 1: 14:50

This is why I said in my podcast episode called the Billionaire Theory that if a problem can be solved with money, it's not a real problem, right? And what I was saying here is that people use the complaining and the I guess obsession to grow their wealth as a way to distract themselves from something in the present moment that they don't want to deal with. Because, think about it Imagine you had a limited supply of money forever. It just literally was not a problem anymore. This means that you could pay off all your debt. You could pay off your mortgage. You can have your debt. You could pay off your mortgage. You can have your freedom, you can buy back your time. You can hire cleaners, you can hire personal chefs, you can hire private jets Go whatever you want. Whatever you want, let's say that you could do that. What do you have left?

Speaker 1: 15:36

I'm going to give you a moment. Actually, I'm going to give you a moment. Ooh, you might've noticed it If you actually gave yourself a chance to go there emotionally. Now you have to deal with the present moment. Now you're probably going to have to tune in with the fact that, fuck, I feel so alone in this world. Fuck, I feel like it's still not good enough for me. Oh my God, what's happening? Why now have to deal with my anxiety problems? Oh my God, right, and this is my point. My point is is that you have everything you need? Right, you have everything you need, and when you can understand this, this is probably the most. I know. I said this about a couple other episodes, but, honestly, this is most definitely the most important episode. When I say for your life, I mean literally for your life. I'm not even talking about manifesting now. Now, I don't even give a fuck about that in this moment. This is not about that. This is about your fucking life. This episode, if you apply this, repeat this fucking episode as many times as you need until it sticks, until it becomes who you are.

Speaker 1: 16:44

If you apply this, guys, guys, you're going to be the most closest thing to being invincible that a human could get, the closest fucking thing. Because when you become so powerful that you have more, I guess, confidence in yourself and more awareness of the fact that you are the shiniest object in the universe, that you're more powerful than fame, fortune, luxury and private jets, then I'm sorry, you are the most baddest bitch ever, or you're the biggest badass ever ever. You just how you could just not be more bad than that right, like come the fuck on, like no one can fuck with you. You become unmanipulatable. No one could manipulate you, no one could put you down, no one can make you feel bad about yourself. Because when you become something that no one can take away from you, you are the closest thing a human can get to being bulletproof. Really understand that, and then when you become someone who doesn't need to achieve their dream life in order to be fulfilled, then your dream life has no choice but to manifest into your reality. It is law. It is law.

Speaker 1: 17:59

And those people who do this in the opposite direction, they find out the hard way what I'm telling you for free and I'm saving you years and years of heartache. I'm saving you lots of money when you can understand that money is not gonna take away how empty you feel inside and that your dream job or your dream relationship is not gonna take away how you feel about yourself. Nothing can ever take away your present moment. So you have two options right now. You either choose to own your present moment, arrive and eat the damn carrot, which just really means can you enjoy your life now? Make your current life enough, can you enjoy the current abundance right? Understand that you are just searching for feelings that you can only give to yourself, and when you can do that, you are powerful.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Alternatively, you can keep avoiding. You can keep distracting yourself with the carrot. You can keep distracting yourself living in the future, and then you will probably get what you want, Because I know that people who listen to this show you know you guys are really ambitious. You'll get it, but it won't be enough for you, and you can learn this lesson the hard way or the easy way, and I'm going to guess that you much prefer being smart and learning this the easy way.

Speaker 1: 19:10

And so I hope you enjoyed today's episode and just remember that you are so damn powerful and that you carry every code that you need. All the answers and all the solutions are within you that this whole manifestation journey, including money and fame and success, is an emotional journey, not a material one. You will become unstoppable and your reality has no choice but to conform to your power, because you would now just be a natural match to all of your abundance from the most authentic part of you. Your ego will no longer be running your show because you realize that you already had everything that you need. So I love you so much and I'll speak to you guys in the next episode. Bye.