%20(40%20x%2040%20px)%20(Podcast%20Cover).png)
The Hot Genius Guide To Manifesting
A podcast where you come for the ultimate makeover for your life. We talk all things healing and manifestation.
The Hot Genius Guide To Manifesting
🧱 Can you manifest with blocks? Ft. Cinda Brandham
Shadow and manifestation coach Lucinda joins me for a transformative episode that promises to unravel the often unspoken intricacies of manifesting success while grappling with personal blocks and wounds. Learn how some can achieve remarkable feats without fully addressing their traumas, thanks to the law of action. We'll uncover the stark differences between achieving wealth through sheer action and embracing a holistic manifestation mindset, exploring how unresolved fears and insecurities can lead to a relentless pursuit of more.
Journey with us as we delve into the profound impact of intention and healing on our beliefs. Discover powerful techniques like inner child work and affirmations to reprogram these beliefs, and understand the importance of prioritizing inner healing over superficial outcomes. We challenge the myth that success is only meaningful when it bypasses healing, questioning the sustainability and true fulfillment of such achievements. Explore how a balance between busyness and introspection can guide you toward genuine self-worth and fulfillment.
Finally, we touch upon the emotional challenges of overcoming money blocks and embracing abundance despite lingering wounds. Through personal anecdotes, we explore the complex relationship between poverty, self-love, and financial success. As Lucinda and I emphasize, transforming your self-talk and prioritizing self-love can be pivotal in shifting from scarcity to abundance, unlocking personal and financial growth. Connect with Lucinda on social media to continue this enlightening conversation and harness the transformational power of choosing oneself for a brighter, more abundant future.
Follow Cinda on IG: @cindabrandham https://www.instagram.com/cindabrandham?igsh=b2FndHZlc2M2NW5h
DOWNLOAD FREE HOT GENIUS SOCIETY APP
Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hot-genius-society/id6504694518
Android: https://play.google.com/store/search?q=hot%20genius%20society&c=apps&hl=en_AU
SOCIALS:
Christina's IG: https://www.instagram.com/christinamodaffari/
Hot Genius Society'sIG: https://www.instagram.com/hotgeniussociety/
Christina's Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christinamodaffari?_t=8obZ1UMHiES&_r=1
JOIN THE MAKE-OVER COURSE: https://www.hotgeniussociety.com/offers/fozimhSC/checkout
MORE FREEBIES:
https://www.hotgeniussociety.com/free-resources
You're listening to the Hot Genius Guide to Manifesting. I'm your host, christina Modafari, and this episode is called Manifesting While Having Blocks. Today we have a guest on the show. I'm welcoming Cinda, who is a shadow and manifestation coach. Today, we will be going over the core areas of love, money and success. We're going to go and discuss the nuances of manifesting while still having wounds and blocks. So, cinda, welcome to the show and I'm so happy that you're here. Could you just introduce yourself a little bit better than I did?
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited for this conversation, me too. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited for this conversation.
Speaker 2:So my name is Lucinda. I predominantly teach manifestation, but I teach it through a shadow work lens, so my work is really actually focused on the blocks. So a little bit ironic. So I am like so well-adversed when it comes to blocks. It's shopping, manifestation, uncertainty and just like what happens when you are going after something that you've never experienced before and never had. So, yeah, I'm really excited to get into this topic.
Speaker 1:Me too. I'm so excited. I still like remember I was watching your TikTokok and I literally my brain just had an orgasm. I'm like, holy shit, what is she? This is amazing. I'm like because I've truly like for me personally in, I'd say I've been studying manifestation long before I was a coach, right for about 10 years. Right and no bullshit. I have never come across anyone talking about how someone can can still manifest while having blocks, and it's something that has always wrecked my brain, because I'm always sitting there like, okay, I get all of this, but how is it that there are people out there in the world who are genuinely manifesting? We're talking millions of dollars, but I know for an absolute fact these people have all of these traumas that they have not healed. They've got all these money wounds and that TikTok that I listened to you speak on, I was like holy crap, like I need to know everything in her brain right now, because this mystery has to be solved. So I'm really excited to be picking your brain today about it.
Speaker 2:I know, and well, it is crazy because it's like there is extremely successful people Exactly what you said like millionaires, people who have massive businesses and who are generating like billions of dollars and have never literally picked up a self-development book in their fucking mind. Exactly so, okay.
Speaker 1:I want to know. I want to know. I'm so excited. Tell me why. How is this happening, cinda?
Speaker 2:Well, what I believe right is when you think of, like we have the law of action.
Speaker 2:I believe, if you're, it's like, remember, manifestation is all belief, true, so sometimes, in some cases, you can have the wounds you could, like you know, potentially money may not feel good like you have, may have a wound around money and attachment to money, but and so you can still attract money very, very well like these millionaires, right, yeah, and money can float you and it's pretty easy to receive.
Speaker 2:So it's like not the receivership, but it's like how it actually feels when they get money, right. And so the reason I believe these people do get these things is because of the law of action and they just go hard on it and to the point where they just believe, like their belief is actually action is all I need, like action is all I need, because so often when we do have a wound though, we actually don't take the required action. So there's like the contradiction in that a lot of the time, because we can only see what we can see from our conscious awareness, right. So if we have a wound about it, we're actually quite skeptical about manifesting that thing, because it doesn't feel safe.
Speaker 2:Like so money, for example, a lot of people have a money wound, actually do have trouble receiving. But then you have people who are like well, I can actually make money quite easy and that's because they're strategic, like they're taking action, they're doing the things in their business. They probably are asking for pay rises, so there's things like that. Like they're getting promotions but they can't hold it in their bank account. Or you have the other end, where they're so fixated on the money that money controls them. Like so it's like they've got the thing right, but it doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2:They manifested it. They're actually so fucking scared of losing it, and to the point that it's actually controlling their life and it's like money dominates them. And we know right that there's people who have millions of dollars who are still chasing more because they actually don't believe what they have is enough and it'll never be enough because of the wound yeah, yeah, that's, that's right.
Speaker 1:And because, like I was just thinking, as you were saying, all that, because, as a pastime hobby, I love, I love studying billionaires, um, and I love comparing the differences between you know, you've got billionaires who you could say in your words, like went through the law of action, I could even say with a touch of law of authenticity as well and I will look at those people and then I'll look at the people who went through more on the manifestation lens, more with, like you know, I guess, the way we would manifest that same, I guess, lifestyle, and I would compare the two right, and the former, the ones that are just really like law of action, everything like that. I personally, see, I see how dissatisfied they are, I see how they're like what you said, it's almost like money has them in a chokehold, right, like they're. So I've even heard them like I would study what they would say and they'll say words like I am terrified of being broke again, you know, and I would notice some of these people like and, mind you, they're following the law of action, right, but then my question to all of that is like I can see all that and I totally am picking up what you're putting down. However, what confuses me is that you know how, when it comes to manifesting money right, there's like different parts of that. There's the receiving, so can we receive it, can we make it, can we hold it, and then can we grow it right.
Speaker 1:But what confuses me specifically is that these people, they have wounds, they still have wounds, they're terrified of being broke, but how on earth do they still? Are they still able to hold it? How? How are they still literally growing it despite all that? Do you think I?
Speaker 2:would actually say that is because of almost that part of them which I could probably could run as authenticity.
Speaker 2:They're so fucking delusional in like it's like the personality traits coming through and almost entitled, delusional and just like that attitude of I'll do anything to get it yeah and you know, this is where there's people who you know when we think of, like you know universal laws, and there's like the karma and like you do good to get good back, but there's like there's often a lot of people who are doing things out of integrity and doing things they shouldn't be doing, but they still get rewarded because their effort and it's like the strategic side, literally the strategic side, and I think but I do think it backfires at some point- yeah, oh, my god, I agree with that.
Speaker 1:I do agree with that. I've seen that, um, and that makes sense right to. I don't know if you've heard of this before, but I was looking at some statistics. I'm not going to give the the numbers because I don't remember the numbers, but I remember the gist of what it. But I was looking at some statistics. I'm not going to give the numbers because I don't remember the numbers, but I remember the gist of what it was saying.
Speaker 1:It was pretty much saying that it is very common for people who get it all, so to speak quote unquote get it all what society thinks is like the dream, and let's define this as fame and fortune. Right, and these people did the thing right, they went through the law of action and they created like a just crazy amount of wealth and recognition. And these same people will then end up, you know, falling into deep levels of depression. They'd become suicidal, they would just get into drugs and all the things, because they it's sort of like what tony robbins says you know, like um, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure, um, and so I do agree. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I I do agree that they end up. It ends up back backlashing in some way, right?
Speaker 1:Um, which is actually something I learned when I was really young, when I was like I said I was observing this, I was studying this, just being being a girl who came from poverty, like I was obviously obsessed with the polar opposite, you know, and I wanted that's how I sort of, I guess, coped throughout that time in my life. Um, and so subconsciously, personally, I was like I never want to be that. Like to me me if I were to hypothetically imagine that I had it all, like if I had fame and fortune and I was miserable. Like to me, that sounds like more like shit than being in poverty. Honestly, like that to me was my greatest fear, which is why I value this work so much. I really took it seriously when Jim Carrey said I don't know if you've heard this quote, but he's like I wish everyone could get rich and famous. So they know that it's not the answer. Have you heard that?
Speaker 2:No, I do.
Speaker 1:I do love that. Right. It's correct because it's the feeling that comes with it.
Speaker 2:right Because it's like these people have money, but are they still Because there's a hell of a lot of them that and this is the thing here right, it's like they've got another area of their life is being affected. And you know we know so many people like you see it in the media all the time or people come out who are in high pressure position and to get through their day, they're literally doing coke all day long yeah, literally, and they're so disconnected from their emotions.
Speaker 2:They've manifested from ego. They have no idea who they are. They're underfilled, they're disconnected and it is because they weren't utilizing all the universal laws they created something that they probably, deep down, actually don't want, but it's the ego that got them there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, my god. So wait, excuse me, I'm losing my voice. Um, no, that is so, that is so true. I swear, every time I talk about this stuff, right, like I never used to believe just as a side note, never used to believe like the throat chakra would do this to me, like I thought that I was just telling myself that it was a throat chakra, um, playing up.
Speaker 1:But seriously, it's just come to a point now, like whenever I talk about this, I get it.
Speaker 1:It's like I get I don't know nervous Cause it's so taboo, and like my throat just goodbye it, just, it just cancels on me, like I can't talk.
Speaker 1:I can't talk Literally, like because, because I can feel it, like I can literally feel myself like I'm having to regulate myself as I'm speaking about this, because I think that and I don't think I'm the only one, maybe one of the listeners listening to this episode right now can relate. You know, when it's like it is such a potentially sensitive topic to so many people, I guess, especially in Australia, um, it's such a cultural thing, it's so weird, you know, it's so weird to talk about this stuff and money, and let's not go too deep and, um, I guess my point is is that, like, I just want to use this authenticity, I guess, as an opportunity to share that, even even for myself and whatever else. Like, um, sometimes these these conversations, they're not easy, and doing the work is not easy, but it doesn't mean it's not necessary to to go through it. Um, and you know, I don't know, what do you think in your opinion, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. I think you know there's topics that we don't want to talk about. There's things that we probably are really uncomfortable, even when we coach our clients on right, but we know that the message is going to serve someone and we know that. You know we only want the best for people. That's right. So I think you know whenever where you're like in your life and whenever you're really activating and someone's really gaining something from it. I always think there's problems, probably someone naturally through like law of polarity, who's probably going to be triggered by it. Absolutely and yeah, I think it's even you. Different messages will relate to different people at different points in their life.
Speaker 1:That's right. That's right. You know what I think that I'm not doing it right if I'm not triggering someone. Right? That's just my belief. You know, like I used to and that's coming from my former people, pleaser, I used to be someone personally who I just needed to make sure everyone was happy, you know, make sure I trigger no one, and that's when I completely lost myself. You know, whereas whereas now I actually get excited. It's like I get excited when I'm like Ooh.
Speaker 1:I'm a little bit polarizing, cause I'm being real, you know, and like I don't care how uncomfortable it is, like, uh, I'm going to lean into that because I know that the more I guess abundant version of me personally is waiting for me on the other side of that discomfort, and I think that's like a perfect segue, you know, to the work that you do. I think it's in terms of the context of, you know, manifesting, you know, while having blocks, yes, but like the importance about the importance of working through those blocks. I know that's your area of expertise, so I'm curious so if in your line of work and just in your experience in general, what would you say is the most common block that people experience in the context of money and, yeah, and how to actually overcome that block?
Speaker 2:I would say and this is like see, the crazy thing here is I also believe you can overcome a lot, and it actually relates to this situation here. I believe you can actually overcome a lot of your blocks through action.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I love that yeah.
Speaker 2:Because, when you think about it, it's like our beliefs are created from experiences, so it means we've you know about it. It's like our, our beliefs are created, created from experiences, so it means we've you know. It's evidence, we've seen evidence to validate. Well, we've experienced something which was made us feel a certain way. Based on the experience, it's like. Whether it actually happened that way is another story, but we've, we've internalized it and that's become our belief. Or we've heard something from our parents or our teachers, or we've just seen like similarities and things, and so that creates our belief system.
Speaker 2:Right, so we've learned it, it's been programmed into us and initially we were just a blank slate and and then. So how I see it is, we can also unlearn it from the same methods, through seeing, hearing, observing and through essentially creating new evidence. However it does, it can be difficult purely to do that way without using like, because essentially, when you're doing it that way, you're not really using any other modalities like. Yeah, so I do, and that's like, technically, shadow work there, but I do a lot of inner child work with my shadow work, so that is like validating the younger.
Speaker 2:You and you know, even people talk about um affirmations. I'm not that big on affirmations, okay, I am big on I call it pet talking and it's essentially like when you think of it it's essentially actually uh, reparenting, yeah. So what I do is in the moment, like physically, when I'm in the moment when I'm feeling fear around something or, you know, when I'm in my relationship, because I fear of abandonment still shows up for me yeah, me too there could be, yeah, something in my relationship and I feel like I'm not being heard.
Speaker 2:But I'm actually reacting from the past. I have to like almost look at myself from the observer, and I have to like almost look at myself from the observer and I have to like assess the situation that's in front of me, and so I will say to myself that's not true. He is actually hearing you, he is listening to you, and so what I'm doing is, essentially, I'm reparenting myself and.
Speaker 2:I'm looking for the evidence that's right in front of me to try and stack evidence to recreate my new belief system. So like look into the belief system that I actually want to have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is.
Speaker 2:I am heard, I am understood, people listen to me Like people care about what I have to say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting, because when you say that out loud and hearing you say that I'm like shit, I do that too, actually, Like I do use affirmations as well. But yeah, like everything you just said, I was like, yeah, I do that as well, and I don't mean to. It's just what was that?
Speaker 1:Sorry, Sorry um and uh, you finish, and then I'll go now I was just gonna say like and when, when I guess you, you care in general and I only speak for myself, I love to hear thoughts on this, but I feel like when you prioritize, um, your inner experience over the tangible outcome of manifestations such as money, followers, whatever that, yeah, maybe in in in some timelines and context, you might not get those tangibles as fast, but easy come, easy go though, right, because I think that going, going through it this way, um, I'm not going to say the proper way because I don't want to throw shade in someone else's method, because I think it's all perfect, but like, I'm a lot like you from what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1:It's like I do prioritize the healing, um, and actually see that as important and don't, I guess, just glamorize the outcome. Because in hearing you say that, I'm like holy shit, like I totally understand what you're saying, because I, in that moment, I could, I guess, just go straight to the rampage of affirmations and and focus on the outcome, but like, in that moment, I actually prioritize soothing my inner child and reparenting myself, because to me it's like killing two birds with one stone. I'm curious, like, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2:well, that's what I think, that's why I think affirmations. Uh, it's hard. I think it's hard because you have people who are actually doing inner work and, like in a child, normalizing fear in their body, taking action, you know, tapping also into energetics who are using affirmations and it works, yeah.
Speaker 2:But then, if you're someone who thinks that you can just use affirmations and you can just grip right and maybe take a small amount of action, I would say it's not going to work for you. And I think a lot of people get caught in those energetic techniques, thinking they're doing the work, but no, you're just doing something that's actually quite fun for yourself, yeah. And then that becomes distraction because you're not actually taking the action. Like how many people create vision boards and go, oh, even want to start a business, but they're stuck in planning, they've never launched it and they're like I'm starting a business no, you're actually just planning, and you've been doing that for two years now yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:And and just to add to that, I've even seen people who actually did it, let's say, just through the energetics, right, um, and let's say they, they bypass the actual healing that we are prioritizing here and they'll get it. Yeah, they will literally get the outcome. I've actually seen I'll give you a random example I saw someone who actually manifested, going viral, like just completely viral online, to the point of pure fame we're talking. I won't mention names, but they got famous to the point where they're now working with celebrities in Hollywood, right, that level of fame, um and so. But they did and they did it. They actually have opened up about doing it via the, I guess, uh, just manifesting work, but get this. This same person is still openly talking about how they still suffer from depression, is still openly talking about how they still suffer from depression. They have chronic anxiety disorder. They don't even leave their bed sometimes unless they have to.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't know if you, yeah, yeah, what are your thoughts? They haven't healed any of that unprocessed trauma or inner child wounds that come with that. Yes, like the same thing, like when we look at the money in the billionaires they still feel like shit every day because they're literally carrying around baggage like their shadow and it's impacting how they're actually showing up. So, yeah, they got the thing, but it's like does it actually feel good to you?
Speaker 1:exactly, exactly, and it's like that's going back to what I was sort of saying earlier do you know what I mean? Where it's like that that scarred me, but in the best way. Like this is the kind of fear I developed. I don't think it was a disempowering one, I think it literally was. It changed the whole trajectory of my life and it's the foundation of who I am. Where I have to get real honest with myself.
Speaker 1:When this was like we're going back about a decade ago where I was like, okay, christina, like what's more important to you if you had to choose? Like have all of this fame and riches, but like be miserable or gamble, so to speak, um, and actually not have that, but be genuinely happy within yourself, fulfilled, healed in your heart, feel like no matter what you have is always enough, but risk never actually getting that amount of money or fame. Like what would you choose? And I had to get honest with myself and I and I chose the latter.
Speaker 1:You know and I'm not saying that that doesn't mean I can't, you know, make a. You know, enter a certain tax bracket, that is, you know where I want it to be. I'm not saying that, but in that moment I had to make that decision because it is a possibility, I guess? Um, because I'm going to go back to that same thing. It's like easy calm, easy go. And how is that not, you know, scary? Like I wouldn't want to be able to get all these things and then literally be terrified to leave my home Like I don't know what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1:on all of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, terrified of losing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And also I think that's where a lot of people get the thing and then they repel it because they haven't become the person who can actually hold it.
Speaker 2:And when we talk about like inner child work or even normalizing fear and coming becoming someone who can actually like hold that in your body, where you aren't like just anxious because of all the fear and you're not overwhelmed, like it's like you can actually hold fear really well, because it's like we all. I think there's this thing in self-development that people think, well, the more uncomfortable I get, our fear goes away. But it's like it actually doesn't go away. You just learn how to hold it and you can still move irrespective. And so you know I that's why those people's nervous systems are literally just cooked like they're so beyond fried yeah, they're actually can't hold it and then they're so scared of losing it. So you've got like their body sending up literally alone. And then you've got their mind who actually in lack, like you know, and that is like you know with the money example, or even with you know this person is like am I going to lose it? That's the lack there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, doesn't feel good no, it doesn't feel good because they bypassed a lot of the work that they needed to do, exactly and honestly, that sounds like hell to me.
Speaker 2:That sounds like hell, I know and having, yeah, and you know, even with the fame, it's like that girl was probably running narratives like it's good shit, like she's gonna get cancelled, yeah, things like that. Like that fear is so big if, especially if you, you know, didn't feel safe speaking up and it's like you got that thing really fast, yeah, there's so going to be a fear of like, okay, you know, am I going to get canceled? And then, if I'm going to get canceled, like her self-worth is probably all tied up in that.
Speaker 2:It's like you know not a good situation to be in, living in fear all the time.
Speaker 1:No, thank you.
Speaker 1:Like, like I said and I and I say this with absolute love to anyone who'd be in that position like that sounds like absolute hell to me, you know.
Speaker 1:Like I can't, I would, I would much rather not have any of that but like, have that safety within my body, like I said, like if I had to choose, and it's like, and then I feel like people in those positions have to rely on like that busy identity where if, then they're literally addicted to being busy and because the moment they slow down, you know, it's almost like they now have to deal with their real problems that they've spent all these, yeah, years like literally running away from um, and I'm not gonna lie, though, like my ego in the past was still so envious of people like that, like I would be so pissed off, right, I would be like, oh my god, like these people have more trauma than me and like, look at them, they're so successful, you know they're, they're so, they're so abundantly rich and whatever.
Speaker 1:And look at me, like here I am dealing with my fricking childhood trauma, you know, and I'm barely making the money that I want to be making. Like it's not fair, like I genuinely had that ego Like I actually identified as that person for so long which held me back. Um, I'm curious actually, like is that something you've ever experienced with your ego before, or do you have any clients who have ever experienced something like that?
Speaker 2:I personally was like addicted to the busy, like that same my identity I'm not even joking you led to the point that I couldn't see how much trauma I had for years, like I was actually that busy and my, it was funny, that was my addiction. My addiction was addiction to the busy to the point where I would train twice a day. I would work like 10 hour days yeah.
Speaker 2:I would socialize like every fucking night. Oh my god, can you even imagine living that life right now? Yeah, I would socialize and then I would party all from Thursday pretty much to Monday yeah and so there was. There was literally not one single moment and I loved to talk. Back. Then too, I was so like always in conversation, I was, and I it's funny because I say now I'm an introverted extrovert, because I love to be by myself- but I have no issues talking to people, but back then I literally would never hang out by myself.
Speaker 2:I had to be with someone all the time and that become my means, so I never had to look at my shit because I literally couldn't never see. I couldn't see it, yeah so literally, and I would do the things that gave me such a high, like partying that masked the fact that I actually was sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my God, I relate to that so badly, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you know, that rippled into even my business up until last year, like I still had beliefs that I had to let go of to the end of the year, that I had, like maybe they were just always there but I couldn't see them, which was like you know, know, I have to work hard to make money and you know, even things like it can't come to me easy and I actually felt the harder it was, it was like the more successful I felt. So I would create, I would always choose a harder path yeah, that was exactly me.
Speaker 2:I relate to that as well it was like the struggle gave me so much I felt like the struggle and harder it was for me, the more powerful I felt. Same yeah, like that false power, and that was like, yeah, life-changing to actually see those beliefs and how like every day, like in, even in the smallest things, I was choosing a harder path and I make it harder. Yeah, everything, yeah'd overcomplicate everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. It's almost like it gives you like a false sense of importance and significance. You know it's like Ooh, I'm, I'm someone, I'm, you know, I'm someone who's worth to, to be loved and respected and everything like that. And for me personally, I've been both. I've been that person who had that I guess you could say, the busy wound. I was just addicted to the chase.
Speaker 1:But I've also been that person on the polar end of the extreme where I was like, okay, I'm just going to prioritize, taking it slow, working through my blocks, which I think I did it in an extreme way, meaning when I say that, that's what I meant as well when I was like I know it wasn't fully empowering, I think it was half empowering because that other, there was an ego part of me that was actually jealous of people who were now doing the busy work. To get me, the people who were bypassing their emotions, bypassing their healing, but actually getting tangible success in their business, in their money, like no shit. Like, if I'm being honest, I was so envious of them, like I was so angry at them because I'm like no, that's not fair. Like I'm doing the work, look at me Like I'm slowing down, I'm prioritizing my healing. You know it's not fair because I don't have anything to show for it and I've been both those people, you know, and I feel like I had to become the middle I guess you could say sort of where it's like, where I wasn't addicted to the struggle anymore.
Speaker 1:I wasn't trying to have a busy wound, but I I personally found this place of like okay, I'm going to prioritize my healing, regardless of outcome. I don't give a fuck whether or not this is going to give me anything. However, with that being said, I'm still going to go after my dreams and I found that balance eventually, um. But I'm curious, like have you found that balance eventually? Um, but I'm curious, like have you, have you experienced that part where it was like you went down the slowing down path, prioritizing or healing? Did you ever have that insecurity or that ego that was envious of everyone else who wasn't doing that?
Speaker 2:I don't think I've had. I've definitely had this and I would say, actually we even brought this into, like my mentor, only the other day. I have actually noticed that I either swing too far along what? Like still even to this day. So I have to have the conscious awareness to actually pull myself out of it. So it's like I'm either extremely energetic, like in playing in energetics, where I'm like just fucking delusional and I'm like, you know, outrageous.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm like then I forget about my books and I forget about oh, I'm actually just regulated here because, I'm so focused on creating and that becomes almost like my obsession, that then I forget oh, I can actually I I get blindsided to my own, like narratives and my own well, it's not even in the narratives coming up, because I'm so into energetics but I get blindsided to my own blocks and then I go too far and then I'll swing the other way, where I'm so focused on blocks that I'm like hang on, you could have just taken action and been moving through this. And so it is like and sometimes I definitely don't think we always have balance right.
Speaker 2:I think we're always going to be too far technically one way, but it's like how long do we let it be that way Do?
Speaker 1:you know what I mean? Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And can we then pull ourselves back the other way and like play in the truth, because that is like that feminine and masculine energy which is required, uh, with manifestation yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:I couldn't agree more with you because, at the end of the day, yeah, we must. We must first experience, like I guess, both ends of extremes to actually find that balance. Like, how do we actually know what that balance is? You know, it's not 50 50, I know that that's for a fact. It's not 50 50 thing because, depending on who you are, what you're, fact, it's not a 50-50 thing because, depending on who you are, what you're going through, what, where you're at in your life, what season you're in, whatever, like that balance doesn't look very different.
Speaker 1:It's very subjective and case by case. You know, and, yeah, I relate to everything you're saying as well, which is why, like I, I'm so happy that we've connected and that we've, we've started to build a friendship, because it's like it's I don't know just this could be a limiting belief, I don't know, but for me, in my experience so far, like I just haven't found too many people who are in love with this work, but just so genuinely honest and authentic about it, like there's just no ego with you, like I love how you're just so real about everything you're saying and like I just really appreciate that because that's what my brand is about. You know, like I'm not in any way, I'm like not into perfectionism. You know, I'm here for the truth. We're not here to be perfect. And yeah, I just wanted to say as a side note, like I'm just so grateful that I know you.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful I know you and it's so funny because I'll like be the same. I'll listen to your content and I'm like nodding the whole time. I'm like yeah, fuck, that was good. And I'm like it's the same thing. I think, uh, some people's work can be a bit bypassy, that it doesn't um touch on people who have trauma and I mean, everyone has trauma, right but it's like what's the level that it is impacting your life?
Speaker 2:in today is, I mean, and a lot of people are blindsided to that anyway like they can't see it, and so, yeah, and I think some is so almost like energetic and like manifestation techniques, and that's actually why a lot of people aren't getting results, because they actually have been led to believe they can just do a meditation or they can just do an affirmation, but that's actually not working on their nervous system and it's not healing their triggers and it's not even teaching them how to work through a trigger. That's right. So it's like they're like I'm doing the work, why am I still triggered every moment? And it's like, well, because you never fucking looked into one any of the triggers, that's right. Like you don't even know why you're being triggered.
Speaker 1:That's right and everyone's different. Do you know what I mean? Like, and that's why I agree with what you're saying as well. It's like, at the end of the day, there are some people yes, I agree, like, everyone's got degrees and it will affect people differently.
Speaker 1:You know, for me personally and a lot of the clients I have, we're talking really deep-seated, complex traumas, like not just one, like going left, right, center, up and down, you know, um, and and following the as much as I appreciate, oh, my god, I love that shit. Delusional manifestation, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to pretend I don't love it because I love it. Um, however, the practicality of that, that, when you apply that to people who actually have a lot more going on, who have gone through tough experiences where you know mental health is involved, you know childhood trauma is involved, nervous system dysregulation, whatever you name it Like, there needs to be more awareness around that that we need to have both. You know we can't really have that. You know woo-woo, which I love, delusional stuff, whatever if we don't also acknowledge the masculine component of that, which I would say in this context would be let's heal.
Speaker 1:Can we heal? Can we understand that the nervous system is literally the wand of our reality. Can we understand that our body is not not spiritual? It is the most spiritual part of us. It is literally housing our soul. Like, how is that not spiritual? You know, we need to have one foot on earth as well as as well as having the other foot in something higher than us.
Speaker 1:Do you know what I mean? So, like what? What I'm trying to say? Is that exactly what you said? How you're like, you nod your head when listening to my content. Same goes right back at you, and I've said that to you before. Um, because we're acknowledging the whole picture. There's a whole picture happening, you know, and it's more inclusive, I think. I think that when we prioritize the healing work, the blocks, the shadow work, we're actually, you know, the healing work, the blocks, the shadow work. We're actually, you know, transforming the industry and including people who actually didn't get dealt. You know, a hand or a nervous system. Really, that was already, you know, good-ish. There are people who don't have that luxury yet, which they can have it, but not sometimes they don't have it yet, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. And you know what I even say to my clients and like how I think of manifestation. I actually think that like it's like the universe wants me to win, right, but I have to meet it halfway.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Manifestation. Like you know, most basic explanation is like we just attract what we are and it's manipulation of energy. And so I believe, like when we come out, I mean, and there's even like variables in this, right, when we come out, if you've had a good, like womb experience and not been exposed to, maybe, a mother that did drugs or even dv, like your parents having dv when you come out, we're usually not always like there's variables in that. Yeah, we're actually in love, we're in joy, we're in peace, yeah, and we're in those high frequencies and then it's like we get exposed to these situations that just pull it down and then we stay in those, like you know, quote-un unquote lower frequencies. Like, if we're looking at the consciousness scale, yeah, they're also frequencies that need to be felt.
Speaker 1:Um, we get stuck in them, though instead of like naturally fluctuating and allowing ourselves to fluctuate and letting ourselves feel all emotions, it's like we'll stay down low because of real lived experience exactly right and it's like, despite all of that, you know, it's like can we also just appreciate that, that you know, being human is what we're supposed to in, I guess, not enjoy but experience the limitations that we have. Like I've recently come to this perspective as well that, despite all of that, the law of polarity, there's the good part of of, I guess, going through really tough, tough times and having chronically dysregulated nervous systems. Because, like, wait a second, it's actually beautiful in its own right that we have limitations, like we came, in my opinion, to be, to be human, to have this human experience, not to seek perfection, which is what I feel like a lot of people do subconsciously try to aim for, but we're seeking to experience a duality of life, because that's that, to me, is beautiful. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:100, I always say like would you even appreciate happiness, if you've never even known sadness?
Speaker 1:that's right, that's right. It's like darker the darkness, the brighter the light. It's just depth, that's all it is. You know, um, and in saying all of that, um, I would love to spend the last five minutes of the podcast actually kind of utilizing what we spoke about and then applying your expertise to a new way of thinking on the same topic, and this is what I have to ask you. So, all right, saying all of this, we know, we know the dark side of bypassing emotions. We we've spoken about the nuances of how people manifest and all the things. But my question to you is well, let's say, someone does have a lot of money wounds, okay, a lot of blocks, but they, they want to, but they want to start making like changes, like significant, you know, quantum leaps around manifesting money, success, whatever, while still having those wounds. What would you say is the most fastest way to do that without bypassing the healing?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I would say is like say is like understanding okay, what is your actual money wound like? So what are your actual narratives driving it? So when you, when we think of like a money wound, we, it's because we actually have the same attachment to money as we do, like our parent givers or whoever raised us. So we think we actually think of money as a person.
Speaker 2:So if you think about that, it's like what is the fear of money? Is it I never have enough? Is it money is going to leave me? And so even that in itself, that one right there fear of abandonment money is going to leave you hand in hand, like literally, you'll have it. I've had it. I've had money work. I actually worked on Money Right for so long, same, oh my gosh, and I was always receiving it and I could like never keep it and I was like always avoidant with it and I wanted to hang on to it, like any time I had a bill I was like, well, I'll just pay it on the last day and it took me, I'm not even joking again up until last year to no.
Speaker 2:And he took me I'm not even joking again up until last year to no this year to realise I went boom, it's the abandonment.
Speaker 1:So I actually worked on that.
Speaker 2:So naturally and again there's like the variables in that is. I started, so I understand the narrative and my core driver was money. Money leaves me, so I had to almost look at it from this angle of okay, but I don't, money is just recycled. So that money was never mine to be given because basically the way that I was seeing it was that. So I was like even saying I would be like but you know, money comes back to me, but it's, I'm like I was actually so hung up on it because that exact dollar wasn't coming back to me. I was like that dollar left me and I want it because I felt abandoned that that same dollar didn't come back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I see, sorry, yeah, keep going.
Speaker 2:So I had to keep reminding myself that that money was never mine to begin with.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:And it's coming. So there's like the trust that it's coming from another way, because it was always easy to receive. So there was the things in that where I had to actually start normalising money and seeking the evidence. This is where the second part is like understand the narrative but then seek evidence to contradict that as true. And so I had to start looking at, okay, where is money coming and staying and more coming, but also how can I normalize in my body that it's safe to let go of money? So that was where I did things like practical things like started paying bills on time, started being more conscious of money, because it wasn't like with this I was never overspending, it was always like I wanted to hang on to the money. In some cases I actually had to start like buying more things because I was a serial like would wear the same things again and again and I would not buy something new unless it was like fucking broken, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So that was normalising money. Again that creates telling yourself okay, it's actually safe for me to spend money, but not to the point where you dysregulate yourself because you've just went and spent $50,000. Do you know?
Speaker 1:what I mean. I know exactly what you mean. This is where I actually think.
Speaker 2:When we think, to like normalising, because there's fear, right, but normalizing it in our body is exposing it to yourself, but in small amounts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that the other thing I started doing was I checked the bank account weekly and if my because I was always someone who, like you know, was scared of like bills and things like that is I started paying myself just a little bit extra every week if I could but if it didn't look good financially, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2:So that was normalizing that it's safe to make more money yeah, um, can I have a question?
Speaker 1:actually sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, you just like sparked a really cool question. So I, for me personally if even for me I would feel like it was a bit, it was similar, I had similar blocks, but the difference, I would say, was that I actually struggled the most with receiving money, making the money, but when I got the money, I was really good at holding it for the time, sort of, but receiving it, forget it, and that's sort of like the top of the funnel, right the top of the funnel within my my, I guess, money flow, my abundance flow, and I kind of just sort of had like an inconclusive theory as to why that was the case. Because, like I said, up until this year forget it I couldn't even receive money. Um, and I would tell myself, oh, possibly because, you know, growing up in poverty, like receiving, receiving money, making money was just so not a thing, it just wasn't a familiar thing.
Speaker 1:So I'm curious actually to hear your thoughts on this, because I know that I'm not the only one who came from a past like mine and although I'm I'm really grateful to have overcome it, I want to know more in the theory of your expertise, like if someone was in that same position, right say, they came from poverty and making money in itself was so out of this world, like that in itself felt impossible, um, and struggles to literally receive like at all. What would you say to them how they could start manifesting money and like shifting all of that?
Speaker 2:yeah, so I would say this is actually so you. It's not normal to receive money right when you've grown up like this. Yeah, so I would actually say there's probably that fear of being unrelatable. This isn't actually normal for me. No one resonates with me. This is, I might even be a bit out of touch with reality here, and so the fear of being alone comes with that. Like seeing that it's like okay, if no one, I'm making more money. But you know my sisters, my brothers. No one else is making that sort of money and I can't connect with them anymore. I'm going to be alone. So you keep yourself small and you'll be self-sabotaging and not actually doing the things in your business to drive the needle forward, and it's very, it'll be very mass things, but it's probably like not launching things on time, not looking at the data and refining when you need to, like doing things slowly and yeah, and then because it's like you're actually fearful.
Speaker 1:But what about? Yeah, sorry, yeah, keep going. Sorry, I got excited there.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was just saying you're actually just fearful of like a lack of being alone and the money that comes with that.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's so interesting I would say that work with that would be cleaning up those sabotaging patterns to actually allow money to come to you. And then you know, working on those beliefs that money does flow, and even looking at, okay, well, where does money come to you? Right, because it's like a little before that did you have a full-time job? Were you even getting you know when you get your groceries? Maybe you were saving $30. So it's like that is actually still money coming to you. Maybe you got a refund, maybe a tax time, you got X. So it's like that is actually still money coming to you. Maybe you got a refund, uh, maybe a tax time? You got x. So it's like where are you actually receiving money? And it actually is easy. And also, where is it like?
Speaker 2:Even seeking this is where we've got to seek the evidence to, and sometimes we don't have it inside of ourselves. So we have to look to like, yeah, what expanders? Or they can just look to other people. So it's like maybe you know someone online that came from poverty, yeah, and. But what's? And looking at, okay, well, what's their connection with their relatives? Yeah, and maybe they've got a great connection still. So that provides that safety of oh, it's actually okay. It's safe, because we're always looking for safety, safety. It's safe for me to actually make money and I know I'm not going to lose connection with my loved ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's very interesting and I find that so, based on that poverty front, yeah, like that, that makes so much sense to me, especially when I'm sort of trying to reflect on, like, what I was doing and how I got out of that. But I would say I wanted to add something else to it, because there is usually a correlation not just with me but with people who came from poverty. Just, you're just more likely to have health issues and for me, for example, in my past, because I went through um, that, that much, I guess, stress and dysregulation, from birth up until I was an adult, right, I suffered a lot with, like, my health. I had mental health issues, I had physical health issues. I was undiagnosed autistic, undiagnosed ADHD, you name it right. So it kind of debilitated me to the point where I couldn't even last in a full-time job.
Speaker 1:So there was many years of my life where I was on welfare payments and I had a lot of shame around that. And for me, I overcame all this through healing that shame, so to speak, and prioritizing, I guess, the inner work there. But my question to you is like, say someone was in that same position as I used to be, what would you say to them if you were to put all of that into the mix, you put in poverty and then also the post-effects of that, of like literally not being able to work because they're literally debilitated from all the trauma growing up, what would you say for them to overcome that?
Speaker 2:I would say a lot of so, like healing the inner child through self-validation in the moment and like, just you know.
Speaker 2:So, because we, when we can't get something, um and this is why we have, like you know, our inner child still impacts us today is because we're seeking it externally. So it's like we're looking for praise, we're looking for approval, we're looking for something outside of us but in actual fact, we can give it to our own selves and we couldn't back when we're a child. Often right, we couldn't because we don't have that development to do that yet it's not our job either yeah, now that we're an adult, we can.
Speaker 2:So it's about giving ourself that love, giving ourself that validation. And you know, I always say to my clients and even I have to do this for myself is like, well, that dialogue that you're running to yourself, would you, if your friend, your bestie, was in the same position? Would you say those exact words to them?
Speaker 1:No, you wouldn't say you're disabled, you're worthless, you can't even keep up a job. You'd never say that to your best mate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like how can you speak to yourself with the love that you actually need?
Speaker 1:Yeah, true, because it's like you can imagine and like this is just what I had experienced. I had so much shame, cinda, like so much I was like, oh my God, like I know I'm capable of so much more, but like I can't even be normal. I can't even. I can't even be that person. Who who's able to complain about hating her nine to five job? Who who's able to complain about hating her nine-to-five job? I literally am, you know, unable to even do that, you know, let alone do anything else.
Speaker 1:Look at me like I'm, I'm scum, like that's how I kind of used to look at myself. That's how I would think about myself, and it was this such fragmented, uh, self-concept I had of myself, you know, like so, naturally, that was really hard for me to receive at that time. While I was looking at myself like that and I guess everything that you said it makes sense, because about the whole external validation right, cause you're saying that I'm reflecting on that version of me I'm like shit. I really was overly focused and obsessed with trying to be like worth something, not feel so worthless and go maybe the day that I make money, and if I had a job, if I could do this. If I could do that, maybe I'll be lovable, maybe I won't be broken anymore, you know.
Speaker 1:So, I guess, giving yourself the things that you think those levels of money and success would give you first, yes, oh my God, like I couldn't agree more how that definitely can assist someone in quantum leaping their money stories. And I'm not just saying that as just trying to be polite, agreeing with you. I'm speaking from testimony, as in like everything you just said, I've never put it into words like that. Thank you for articulating it all like that. Because you've articulating it all like that, because you've just given me something as well in my own personal journey where I'm like, oh yes, like sometimes we just need to hear it, sometimes we need that confirmation, that validation, in a healthy way to to sort of help us see that you know what, everything that we all, everything that we all go through it might be different, but at the end of the day it really comes back to the same principles, doesn't it? It's always going to come back to. Can you please give yourself what you need, reparent yourself, care about yourself and the rest will follow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, love yourself, yes, exactly yeah, and that is that feeling like that, is that in what, that is that inner work, because then you're giving yourself what you never got. You're actually physically healing that inner child.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then what happens is, because you're healing her, you dissolve, start melting away shame, you start melting away guilt and, you know, maybe there's even emotion that you actually also need to disperse with that too. So it's like maybe you actually need to cry because you didn't allow yourself to cry yes, even that it's like well, what can I actually give myself?
Speaker 1:yes, what am I?
Speaker 2:needing absolutely validate myself, how can I tend to myself? So I stop seeking it in external things yes, external people, yes, metrics, and it doesn't come out in really like unhealthy ways because I'm just giving it to myself.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly. And I still remember the way my head was right. I was like no, no, no, I'm going to not heal myself yet. Not because I don't love myself this is what I would tell myself. Not because I don't love myself, but because I don't have the luxury of healing myself. I must first have to become financially successful and then I will heal my trauma. Then I'll have enough time to go through that inner work properly and not feel guilty for it. And, ironically, it took me honestly, like most of my twenties, to come to terms with this and to figure this out personally.
Speaker 1:Where I was like, wait a second, christina. First of all, shame, which was my normal dominant frequency, is the lowest vibrational frequency a human could be in. The lowest Number two, I was like you know what, by me, healing my trauma is probably the most efficient way to get the thing that I want so badly, which is having, you know, abundance and money and whatever else. And and it worked, because when I stopped feeling bad about prioritizing healing my wounds in peace if you know what I mean like not kind of half-assing it, like going all in on, christina, you know from doing that. You know not a surprise, you know, from doing that, you know, not a surprise my money completely changed. Like we're talking, quadrupled my income, like quantum leaps, like in every form of money, like it wasn't just literal cash, like opportunities, you know, all forms of abundance started flooding at me all because essentially what I'm saying is that I chose myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like you face the things that you actually wanted to avoid and that's like where our work is. It's like, yes, you know, whatever you're avoiding, whatever you think is so dark that you don't want to go into it, you actually that's where we need to go and that's where you're going to really like exactly what you said. You thought you had to get the money to, uh, be able to do your trauma work on your trauma, but it's like well to get the money to be able to do your trauma work on your trauma, but it's like well to get the money you actually have to often work on your trauma.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:And yeah, it's just even, like you know, funny how we can think sometimes which then blocks us from doing the work that we need to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And it's all fear, yeah, all fear, and yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that I fear and yeah, oh, I love that. I've loved this whole conversation.
Speaker 2:I feel like we could talk for fucking hours to be honest, I know actually I love. I know I can't believe it's already been an hour. I know I know.
Speaker 1:Well, you know what we might. We could do like another episode in the future, if you're down for that. Yeah, I'm down for that. That'd be so cool, all right. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show, cinder. Seriously, thank you for your time. Thank you for this conversation, for sharing your wisdom with me and the hot genius society, like I'm so grateful. Um, do you have any like lasting words that you just want to share with the audience before we wrap up this episode?
Speaker 2:I would just say like similar to what I said before, is like in and you mentioned this in the container in the container. We're in our own world it's okay is like, in order to get into your light and your power and utilize your potential and even find your purpose, it's like you have to look at your dark. You can't bypass it. Um, yes, and it's not easy, but I promise you it's so worth it yes, and I agree with her.
Speaker 1:She's right, guys, she's smart. Listen to her, listen to cinder. Um, I love this, and so if anyone wants to find you in your socials, where is the best place? I'm going to chuck it all in the show notes, but just from now, like what is the best place to to contact you if they wanted to follow your work, whatever um, just on instagram or even tiktok.
Speaker 2:Um, I think it's me, doesn't even know my handle. I think it's just cinder brand. Yeah, like just the i-n-d-a and then like brand, and then ham, like ham, like from the deli.
Speaker 1:Yeah, love it. All right, beautiful, I'm going to put that in the show notes as well, because it's just easy. I'll put a link to it. I'll put a link to your Instagram and your TikTok because, honestly, like, everyone needs to be diving deeper into your content. I love it, I love listening to it myself and, yeah, anyway, I'll let you go. Thank you so much again for being here. Um, thanks for having me. You're so welcome. All right, take care, take care. All right, bye.
