💍 Manifest Love: Attach to detach

What if embracing a new self-concept was the key to manifesting the love you desire? Join us as we unravel the potent concept of "attach to detach," a transformative approach that blends the law of attachment and detachment with the art of manifesting love. This episode of the Hot Genius Guide to Manifesting will bring you practical insights on how to shift from a happily single lifestyle to embodying the persona of someone in a happy, healthy relationship. We explore the importance of self-concept work and the nuances of achieving Neville Goddard's "wish fulfilled" state, setting the stage for your deepest desires to materialize naturally.

Discover the process of overcoming unhealthy attachments and understanding limerence to pave the way for your dream relationship. By recognizing how we project our neglected positive qualities onto others, we can reclaim these parts through self-love and detachment. This episode emphasizes the critical role of processing emotions and replacing shame with self-compassion, guiding you towards a confident, self-loving version of yourself. Whether you’re single or seeking a loving partnership, this journey of self-healing and growth will help you align with your desired identity, ensuring you thrive in the relationship of your dreams.

Chapters

• 0:00 Manifesting Love
• 10:39 Shifting Identity for Love
• 16:05 Overcoming Unhealthy Attachments

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the Hot Genius Guide to Manifesting. I'm your host, christina Modafari. Today's episode is called Manifest Love Very simple, but very potent. So get excited because I'm about to rock your world, all right? So we're going to be covering pretty much the concept of attaching yourself to your desire before you can access the law of attachment. So attach to detach. We're going to learn about the. You can access the law of attachment, so attach to detach. We're going to learn about the proper use of the law of detachment, as well as the law of assumption and how that's going to apply to you manifesting your dream relationship. We're going to learn about how, even if you love yourself as being a single person, how you need to shift into being the version of you who's happy in love. We're going to learn about how to see yourself differently and how to apply the self-concept work. And we're also going to learn about the difference between people who are obsessed with their relationship or obsessed with manifesting something from a wounded place versus it being in a healthy place. So, without further ado, let's just jump straight into it.

Speaker 1: 1:04

Welcome to season five, by the way, so this season is going to be all about specific topics. I want you to imagine the podcast, season five, to be more about like very specific topics and how to manifest specific areas. It's going to give like sort of like a school vibe, but like in the best way, like I shouldn't have vibe, but like in the best way, like I shouldn't have said that, but like in a good way. Okay. So the first thing is you got to attach to your desire fully before you can allow yourself to detach from it. But what I mean by this is not getting attached to a specific person or not to get attached to having a relationship, but more so to become attached to the identity of you, the version of you who already is in a happy, healthy relationship. That is the difference. Now, why is this important? Because if you do not attach yourself to the identity and version of you who's in a healthy and happy relationship, your brain is going to attach itself in an unhealthy way In life. There is a quote-unquote right and wrong way to do everything, absolutely everything. Okay, it includes attachment.

Speaker 1: 2:12

Attachment is usually demonized. It seems this thing that you shouldn't have because we live in this society, in the Western world, where there's hyper-independence that is encouraged in our society, which causes a lot of misconceptions, but there can be a healthy kind of attachment and an unhealthy kind. The irony is that if you do not attach yourself in the healthy way, those people who try really hard to be overly independent and not give a shit about their manifestations are the same people who end up having unhealthy attachments and codependency issues. Now, when you attach yourself, now that we understand that you're going to attach yourself regardless, you're not in control of that. But you are in control on whether it is a healthy kind of attachment or is an unhealthy kind of attachment. And the way that you can tell the difference is, once again, is that it's a healthy attachment when you attach yourself to the version of you who has what you want, in this case, to the version of you who has your dream relationship. And if you don't do that, you will just naturally default into the unhealthy kind of attachment, which is you become attached to the person you become feeling, you become desperate and needy and clingy, and so when you can embrace this paradox, everything's going to shift for you.

Speaker 1: 3:34

So when I say once again that you got to attach before you detach, that's what I'm referring to you fully attaching to your identity. But let's actually talk about what that even means in the first place, because that can sound quite confusing, right? And so what I mean by that is when I say to fully attach yourself. When I say to fully attach yourself, I'm really referring to the fact that you've got to attach yourself to that identity, like I had mentioned, right, and I keep repeating myself. But it's really important that we understand this concept very well, because it can get potentially confusing. And so what that looks like on a practical level is simply you attaching yourself to the new identity through subconscious reprogramming, through self-concept work, and so you'll know, when you have fully formed that healthy attachment to your new identity, when you no longer feel like you have to do any work to convince yourself that you're already in a healthy, happy relationship.

Speaker 1: 4:34

When you are single yeah, this is what we call or Neville Goddard specifically calls this the wish fulfilled state. When you are in the wish fulfilled state, you feel calm, you have this clear inner knowing that your manifestation is done. Sometimes you might say that this is just a gut feeling. You might say that you're about to meet someone soon and just can't explain it. That's usually if it comes after all that identity work of you learning how to see yourself in a happy, healthy relationship is a sign that you have entered the knowing state. This is when you can now say I'm in a happy, healthy relationship and not feel crazy because you once again have impressed the subconscious mind into your new identity.

Speaker 1: 5:18

Now, the law of assumption is usually not explained properly, especially on the internet, and so let me just link that to what we just spoke about. In order for you to truly master the law of assumption, you can't just say that it's done and do nothing more other than that, because you would be saying it's done as the identity of someone who doesn't have that dream relationship. So that is where self-concept work comes in, which is the whole purpose of you constantly repeating the new story, you rewiring your subconscious beliefs and then from that place, then people also forget to mention that with the law of assumption, after you have impressed your mind, you have to detach, and when you detach, you're now accessing the law of detachment. Now what happens usually is that people kind of fail with the law of detachment because they detach prematurely. They detach from their desire and their need to have what they want, while still being the version of them who doesn't have what they want.

Speaker 1: 6:24

In this case, let's say you are single and you want to be in a relationship and you just apply the law of detachment and you say, yep, cool, I'm in a relationship. I'm not saying you won't manifest one, because you might, based on your whatever beliefs you already have lingering in your mind. But what I'm saying is that the chances of you manifesting a relationship that you actually want, that's actually sustainable, most likely will not happen because you haven't done the work in your identity to make you an energetic match to the specific relationship, that dream relationship that you desire. That is the difference. And so, to make it easy, if this ever gets confusing for you, this is how I want you to see it, because it's so simple and that it's choose what you want, so know that you have, you want to have that dream relationship.

Speaker 1: 7:12

But once you've done that, attach fully. So attach to that version of you, start seeing yourself as someone who is in their dream relationship, because you can see you can be single and happy and love yourself. But that's a completely energetic frequency to the version of you who's happy in love. I'm going to say that again Happy being single and happy in love, both great, you're both happy, you both love yourself in both realities, but they're different realities, therefore different frequencies, therefore different identities. Okay, so, once again, if you ever get stuck, that's all you got to remember, and then detach from that identity, because why would you need to attach yourself to the new identity after you have already impressed that a new identity on a subconscious level, because you already become that thing? Does this make sense? It's just step one, attach to the new identity and then step two is detach from it and now this will all work. Now, depending on how many limiting beliefs you have, depending on how much resistance you have, will determine, like, how long it will take for you to see this reflect in your life before you literally get that dream relationship.

Speaker 1: 8:25

And so I just want you to know that the best tip that I could give you right now is get rid of time and timeframes and deadlines, because that is just not. This is not it okay. The same way, when you have pressure and a timeline and a schedule for, like, when you're gonna, um, get sexual with your partner when you were in a relationship that just soaked the the fun right out of it, right, it's no different to how manifestation works. You don't want to take out the magic of the point of why you are manifesting this in the first place. Therefore, releasing time, pressure deadlines could be the best shift you make. But yeah, manifesting love is actually very simple. It might not always be easy, but it's as simple as two steps. This is my sort of method. I think that it is just the most easiest, most pleasant way to get what you want.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Obviously, this doesn't just apply to love, however, we're obviously talking about love today. Again, in case you forgot, you got to attach and then you detach, and now that you know this, we can kind of go into the second segment of the episode. And so what's really important is that we don't make it too important. You know, the thing is here that a lot of the time, we get a little bit too caught up in being too serious about our manifestations, and when we become overly serious about a manifestation, we are making it too important. And when we make something too important, we put it on a pedestal. When we put something on a pedestal, we make it separate to ourselves. When we make something separate to ourselves, it is a sure way to make sure that we are not an energetic match to the thing we want, because manifestation is just a game of being able to control energy, manipulate energy, and the way you do that is through constantly focusing on the self. So even if you love yourself, like I said earlier, as a single person, you still need to learn the energetic frequency of the version of you who's happy in love. I'm going to say that again. This is so important.

Speaker 1: 10:39

You have an identity of being happily single, a happily single man or woman who loves themselves, and that is amazing. But that's not. That's that identity is not going to manifest a reality for you where you're happy in love, because in both scenarios you love yourself. In both scenarios you are happy. But there's not one way to be happy. Really understand that you can be happy in multiple scenarios, but in this case you are happy being single and now you just chose to become someone who wants to be in relationship. That's amazing, but it's now time to start seeing yourself doing the self-concept work, shifting the identity into now being someone who's happily in a relationship, and what this could really look like is now seeing yourself and how your current life makes sense or doesn't make sense to you, being in a relationship, for example, I'm an example of someone with an identity and a self-concept who is happily single.

Speaker 1: 11:44

I am a happily single woman who loves herself. Now, if I wanted to get into a relationship and now shift that identity from being happy in sorry, happy being single to happy in a relationship, I would need to make a lot of energetic and identity shifts in my life. The reason for that is because the way I see myself right now, I don't see myself as someone who has, you know, a man providing for me. I don't see myself as that because I don't want to right. I don't see myself as someone who spends time with my partner and texts him during the morning and at night and goes on date night. I don't have that. I don't create that space in my schedule, and so how on earth would I ever manifest that being exactly as like a? Really I'm really good at being happily single, which is perfect, just as much as it is perfect to be happily in a relationship. And so the reason why I don't change anything in my identity is because I don't want a relationship.

Speaker 1: 12:49

I know that if I shift my identity to being happy in love, I'm going to get a relationship, and even if that is my dream relationship, I just I'm just not wanting that in my life and let's normalize that. Let's normalize that for anything. Do you know what I mean? Like there is no right sorry, there is no wrong decision to make or wrong life path. There is just a wrong way to go about that decision, just like there is a wrong way to be in a relationship and there is a wrong way to be single. The wrong way to be in a relationship is to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't even match your needs, someone who doesn't understand you, the same way that the wrong way to be single would to feel miserable and lonely and unfulfilled.

Speaker 1: 13:33

And I really want you to see that neutrality and to understand that you and I we give meaning to the things. But I wanted to help you understand as well that you really got to shift your identity. And if you are, say, in my position, where, at the time of recording this, like I said, who knows, maybe if you're listening to this in the future I'll be married. But at the time of you listening to this, like I said, who knows, maybe if you're listening to this in the future I'll be married, but at the time of you listening to this. I am happily single, and so if you relate to that but the difference is you now want a relationship. It's now time you start seeing yourself in that relationship. You don't even need to imagine like the person, you just need to imagine yourself.

Speaker 1: 14:11

How do you feel waking up every day? How do you literally like, view yourself? What changes about you? And are you someone who's now open in communication? Are you now someone who's more considerate of someone's feelings? For example, I can tell you, as a single woman, it's very like I don't have to consider anyone's feelings, like my life is mine and my decisions do not affect another person. I don't have children. I don't have to consider anyone's feelings, like my life is mine and my decisions do not affect another person. I don't have children, I don't have a husband, and that's got its own pros and its own cons right. However, if you're also single and you're happily single, like I am like you got to understand that you now need to become someone who considers other people's feelings. So that's something that you got to shift. You also got to shift seeing yourself. How do you spend your weekends now? How do you wake up in the morning?

Speaker 1: 14:57

You know what is shifting in your life and if you start seeing that that's what I'm talking about when I say you need to attach yourself to that identity you gotta start attaching and learning about this version of you, start thinking like this version of you, start feeling like this version of you, start acting like this version of you, start thinking like this version of you, start feeling like this version of you, start acting like this version of you, and you do that once again until you just feel like it's done, that you might borderline, feel a little bit the Lulu, but that's how you know you did it right. That's how you know you've arrived in the knowing state and then, from this place, you can fully relax and detach into the knowing that it is done. And this is where the law of assumption comes in right. But you got to allow yourself to brave your way through the transitional period of when you are shifting the identity, because, as you are shifting the identity, your 3D is shifting along with you and you will see movement, okay, and so, as you know all of that, um, I also just wanted to end this podcast by letting you know that there is a type of way to you know how.

Speaker 1: 16:05

At the beginning of this episode I was sort of saying that there's like a healthy way to attach to something and there's an unhealthy way to attach to it. I just wanted to spend the last few minutes explaining the unhealthy way, just in case you are on that side of the street. And so the reason why people unhealthily become attached and obsessed with, like you know, maybe a fantasy relationship or with a specific person and it feels like borderline embarrassing I'm not saying it is embarrassing, but within yourself, like you might like, shame yourself about it because you don't want to feel so clingy and needy then this is actually caused from a thing called limerence. All limerence is is like us projecting all of like our qualities, that we pretend that, like that we forgot that is there, the positive qualities we have and we put it on another person. For example, say that you subconsciously know you're a very funny and brave person, but in the last five years you stopped really connecting with the humorous part of you and you stopped connecting with that bravery. You've become a little bit shy and anxious. Let's say and let's say you've become a little bit, you know, shy and anxious.

Speaker 1: 17:16

Let's say and let's say you've become obsessed with, say, michael or something and Michael is actually really funny, very humorous, and he is also really brave and then you feel that obsession come about, like you can't control it, let's say, and so what that is is that everything you feel, that obsession that you feel that you might confuse as love, is actually what you feel about yourself. It's like a positive projection, but it calls a negative result because it makes you push them away. This is when you know you are not, I guess, magnetizing your you know lover to you. You're not magnetizing your you know lover to you. You're not magnetizing your specific person to you're pushing them away.

Speaker 1: 18:00

This is when you are operating from lack. This is when you are operating from a place of you're not lovable, you're not loving, you're not worthy of love and therefore you might still attract people into your life, but you're specifically attracting relationships or people who manifest more of you not feeling like you're worthy to be loved. And so if you are in this position, then this is what I recommend that you do you recognize that that's what's happening and actually see the beauty in that that when you're obsessed with a person, it's actually you being obsessed with yourself, but a part of yourself that you have neglected, that you forgot that you were. And then, once you have done that, you're going to feel some pain, and that's totally okay.

Speaker 1: 18:44

Remember, the best kind of manifestation is when you actually allow yourself to heal and enjoy that process of healing. Because the way, because every time you heal and you process an emotion and you release a trauma, you quite literally are manifesting you're making yourself one step closer to that dream relationship. And so how you do that is now you got to let go of that obsession by understanding that it was about you, and then now putting that obsession onto the version of you who is proud of herself or himself, who loves themselves, who actually is loved and gives and receives it, who believes in healthy relationships. And then what you'll find is maybe there's some wounds, that you're going to feel some really difficult emotions, and I just say that you're just going to have to feel them. It takes 60 seconds to process an emotion. That's it. Stay with the feeling, hold it, cry it out or maybe just simply feel it. It doesn't need to take longer than, like I said, 60 seconds, and you continue with the process of attach and detach in the exact same way. And so I hope you enjoyed today's episode and just remember that to manifest love, all you got to do is attach, then detach, and you do that by attaching yourself to the version of you who's already got that dream relationship.

Speaker 1: 20:09

And then, once your body and your mind is convinced and feels that in their core being, you can then detach from it. And when you detach from it, go on about your life, enjoy your life, do your thing and walk around like you are the prize, because you are. And when you waver, don't freak out about it, just accept it for what it is and don't make it mean anything, because the only time wavering can be like wavering back to your new, to your old identity is when you make it wrong. You'll find that when you stop shaming yourself for sometimes falling back into the old story, that you will stop wavering, because the cause of you going back and forth into the old and new identity is just shame. And when you change shame and you replace shame with self compassion and faith, you won't just manifest the love of your life, you won't just manifest the relationship of your dreams, but you will feel whole, with or without them. So much love, guys, and I'll speak to you next week. Bye.