🎄 The holiday season survival guide

Download your free Stress Cheat Sheet here: 
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Can you guess the three major players that make the holiday season a stressful time for most people? Money, time, and organization take the center stage in escalating the stress levels during this otherwise joyous time. However, what if we told you that the core of these issues lies embedded in our emotional health, and by enhancing our stress intelligence, we can better manage these stressors? This episode unravels the complex world of holiday stress, offering you a cheat sheet to regulate stress and boost your memory, decision-making, and even your perception of time.

Building on the concept of stress intelligence, we then transition to discussing specific strategies for stress regulation during the holiday season. This involves managing finances, time, organization, and potential family triggers. We provide a simple yet effective breathwork technique to help you keep calm and carry on. Moreover, we shed light on the importance of teaching children emotional regulation and strategies to navigate family triggers. As we wrap up, we highlight how effective stress management can lead to optimal leadership, especially during the holiday season. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery and emotional regulation together, and make this holiday season a stress-free one.

Chapters

• 0:00 Holiday Stress
• 10:57 Stress Regulation for Better Decision Making
• 22:04 Managing Stress for Optimal Leadership

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the Hot Genius Podcast. This episode is really here to support you during the holidays. It's going to teach you how you can cope with holiday stress, and we're going to do it in 15 minutes or less. So are you ready? Or are you ready and look, I don't know what you're doing right now, whether you are driving, whether you were cleaning or you're simply just sitting down. If you were sitting down, then I invite you to get a piece of paper and a pen out and take some notes, and if you are driving, then obviously don't do that. But instead I invite you to take mental notes and, as you know, as always, I'm always about me arguing you, and so if you don't know what that means, then please watch the Karate Kid or look up what that means. But what I'm really trying to do here is, before we even get into the contents of this episode, I want you to get into the mind state of taking mental notes. It doesn't have to be physical, obviously, it's better when it's physical, but the act of taking mental notes itself is very beneficial, for one of two things. Number one it actually in itself will help regulate your stress. Number two it will quite literally, make you smarter. It will support you in your intellectual development, and so we're not just here to learn wellness and fulfillment tips. We're here to also unlock your genius, and so the best way that this is going to prepare you is that I'm possibly going to quiz you a little bit towards the end, and the refreshment and the sense of accomplishment from simply being able to get those answers quote unquote right is going to set you up for such an amazing day, no matter what part of the day you were listening to this in, even if it's at night, it's going to set you up. So get excited. We're going to learn how you can cope with holiday stress to the best of your ability in the easiest, simplest way possible.

Speaker 1: 1:52

So I've spoken to a lot of people and I've asked them, I've surveyed, like what are you most feeling? Stress and pressure around during the holiday, the holiday break, and the three things that kept showing up was I don't have enough money, I don't have enough time and I'm struggling to organize myself. And so money, time and organization. They were saying how, with money, they were just. They felt like they were breaking the bank. They're paying for so many different kinds of presents, they're paying for a Christmas events, then they're having to somehow manage their time finding a way to cook clean, prepare, put up the Christmas tree, wrap the presents up, wrap things up for themselves and then, in addition to all of that, go about their normal day and maintenance of what it means to be a human right.

Speaker 1: 2:46

And then the last one was organization struggling to quite literally organize myself. In what order do I do this and how do I prioritize myself? How do I prioritize the situation with that? And then, when it comes down to all of this, when I were to ask them, okay, but what is actually stressing you out? Most of them had said it's that during this time it can be quite triggering, and when I'm around certain family members or when I'm around large groups of people, it can bring on anxiety, it can bring on a part of me that I'm not quite proud of. And so we're going to we're going to cover all of that. We're going to cover the truth behind how you can manage your money, time and organization better, and we're going to do it in the simplest way. I'm not even kidding, you're going to be mind blown. And then we're going to cover the strategy of things, the boundaries of things, and so let's, let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 3:41

Okay, so let's begin by understanding that 80% of your problems is an emotional health situation. It's an emotional health problem. It's not a strategy problem, it's not a money problem. It's not that you don't have enough money. It's not that you have too much money. It's not that you don't have enough time. It's not that you don't have the proper skills. It's 80% that you just don't have, or you're not confident in, the emotional skills that you require to provide you with optimal levels of emotional health.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Well, what am I really talking about here? I'm talking about how to regulate your stress. Stress, intelligence and knowing how your stress system works. And being in control of your stress isn't just 80% of the problem and solution to your money, time, organization problems. Having intelligence around stress and how to regulate it is 80% of all of your problems, because stress is the foundation to our whole lives. When we aren't in control of it, it takes away our memory, it reduces our intelligence, it affects our literal personality, it affects our judgment, decision making, it distorts our reality and our perceptions of reality, and it actually affects our ability to perceive time accurately. Really. Take that in All right and so, when you can already understand that most of your solution to coping with your holiday stress is quite literally focusing 80% of your time and effort or energy, whoever you wanna look at it into simply prioritizing, regulating stress, understanding how stress works, understanding how to regulate it, what it means, what it looks like, what it feels like, the different stages of stress, different kinds of stress and it's not as overwhelming as you think.

Speaker 1: 5:52

In fact, I wanna give you a Christmas gift. If you look at the show notes of this, either you're watching this on YouTube or you're listening to the audio version of this. In the show notes there is a link that you can click. I'm gonna put it in there right now. I'm writing a note right now where you can receive a PDF downloadable document that's a stress regulation cheat sheet. This cheat sheet do not underestimate what A4 piece of paper can carry okay, because this cheat sheet is 10 years of information on a piece of paper that's actionable and practical and simple to use. This is gonna be your Bible and this is my gift to you. Okay, so don't have to worry about the how, because you got that now.

Speaker 1: 6:40

I just wanted you to first get really clear of understanding that 80% of your issues during the holiday stress season is actually a stress regulation problem. It's a lack of stress intelligence. And it's again to be clear, it is not just for the holiday break, it is for your whole life. Stress is the foundation of your life, the whole thing. If you are not in control of your stress, you are not in control of your life. And I say this with so much love it doesn't matter how much money you make, I don't care if you are a billionaire. If you aren't in control of your stress, you're not in control of your life. Because get this one of the symptoms of being dysregulated or being stressed is feeling like you're out of control, the feeling, the symptom of being regulated okay, the opposite of stress. One of the symptoms of being not stressed is feeling a sense of control Mind blowing effect if you're not watching this on a video.

Speaker 1: 7:53

So now that you know that, I can now obviously share that 20% of your solution is a strategy situation, but my guess is that you already know the strategy. But in case you don't know the strategy, let me just share with you what I think is the most simple, fastest and funnest way, because if something's not fun. We're probably not going to continue to do it. For you to get in control on a strategy level. So this is assuming you've already taken care of your stress. That's an ongoing thing. That's a lifestyle About your money, time, organization. So this is the strategy Number one regulate yourself. Look, use a cheat sheet. You'll see. You'll be able to actually measure when you are not stressed. When you get into the state of regulation, your IQ increases. That means that your decision making gets better. Number two is that you're going to feel in control, so we want you to get into that state first.

Speaker 1: 8:52

The second step for your strategy when it comes to money, it's really important that you get clear on why you're buying the thing. What are you trying to achieve? For example, if you want to buy a certain gift for your child or for your friend or whatever else, ask yourself am I doing this because I want to impress them or do I just genuinely want to give this? Because I find that 90% of the time, unfortunately, it is our unconscious mind trying to prove something. We don't mean it, and so what I mean by this is that our conscious mind so okay, everything you're currently right, this moment, are aware of that exists in your mind. You're only aware of one to 5% of your mind. People say 5%, that's generous. Some people are literally aware of 1% of what's going on in their mind.

Speaker 1: 9:57

When you can get in control of having the awareness and intelligence to be like you know what, I don't actually have awareness of why I'm doing this thing. You are in control again, because now all you got to do is ask yourself and get honest with yourself why am I buying this $4000 gift for my friend? Hey, if you're in that position to do so, go for your life. You just genuinely want to do it. But in case you're part of that 90% who isn't doing that, I invite you to ask yourself why and get honest. And maybe the answer comes up as fuck. Because they gave me a really expensive gift last year, so I felt like I feel a bit obligated to do it. Well, guess what Obligation causes stress? So own it. The second that you own it, you might actually realize that there is a better gift, that you want to give them, something that actually going to appreciate that little bit more, and it's going to cost half the amount. So use that strategy. Okay, it's worth your time and money To give yourself 30 minutes.

Speaker 1: 10:57

Sit down, write out all the things you're buying, all the things that are probably stressing you out in the first place, and ask yourself why for each, and you'll know if it's coming from the right place, so to speak, when it just feels good. Yeah, if you're buying a gift for someone should never come from obligation, ever. People can feel that energy from you. People can really feel it. So we'll start there. Get clear on why you're spending that money.

Speaker 1: 11:28

Number two is time. Look, when it comes to time, all it really is is your perception. It's about are you regulated? Because when you're not regulated, when you're stressed, time flies in a bad way. You feel out of control of your time. So if you're regulating yourself, the truth is you're just going to get more time because you're not going to feel that sense of pressure or urgency anymore. So that's only going to help you. Honestly, the strategy for that is to quite simply regulate yourself. Okay, because I just truly believe you already have the strategy. So, in the first place, you don't let me know in the comments below. If you're on Spotify, let me know in the question box what you think and if you need an episode on time, which probably going to do it anyway, let me know.

Speaker 1: 12:12

The last one is organization. This is the same, because if you're regulated, your organizational skills like 10x themselves anyway. So the strategy here really is similar to the money thing Get really clear on the things that you're doing and always understand why you're doing them. So you've got five Christmas parties. Do you genuinely want to go to all five? What is the most exciting to you? Start with that one. And so the strategy.

Speaker 1: 12:42

Once again, this is the formula for everything, by the way. Number one regulate your emotions. Number two take care of the non-negotiables, the things that you have to pay for or the things you have to attend like. There's just no ifs or buts, you just have to do it, that's it. And then, number three, flexibility. Really question and now prioritize and edit what you want to do or not do, okay. And so, lastly, family triggers. Same thing before you go to the event, okay, regulate yourself on the way they drive.

Speaker 1: 13:19

When you're driving, if you're a parent, regulate with your children. Oh my God, this could be the best gift. The best skill you could ever teach a child, by the way, seriously, is how to regulate. The best way for them to learn is for them to watch you. And if you're not a parent, cool, even better. In a different way, you get to just guilt-free focus on regulating yourself, to be honest, and so take advantage of that On the way there, regulate. It's gonna be on your PDF download. Make sure you download it, print screen it, make it your wallpaper. But for now, in case you forget to download it or in case you're on the way out of driving somewhere right now, actually, let's quickly do a regulation technique. I'm gonna do it in one minute or less.

Speaker 1: 13:59

Step one is to identify whether you are Hyper aroused or hyper aroused. Okay, hyper just is usually when your body temperature is hot, I. You feel like everything's urgent. You feel like You're out of control and you don't have enough time. If you feel like you don't enough time, you are hyper Aroused, in a stress response. That's the final flight response. The other one, okay, is you feel really unmotivated. You feel like you're in a really low mood. You feel like, if you really wanted to, you could seriously fall asleep right now. That means you are in the freeze response of stress.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Cool, now that you know and you've identified, the next step is to regulate. But you cannot regulate if you don't know what kind of stress you're experiencing. And this is the reason why Most people who say I can't meditate it's not for me. It's not that it's not for them, it's actually because Meditation is a down regulation technique and only works when you're feeling really, really stressed, when you're feeling really worked up, your body temperatures high, feel like running out of time. For someone who is hyper aroused, which is someone is in a low mood, feeling bit depressed, feeling bit sleepy meditations a down regulation. You're too down regulated already and you meditating would just make you more tired and that's not gonna regulate you. So, just so you know, is the disclaimer.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Okay, so let's say you fit into the first category and you are someone who was hyper aroused. Right now You're feeling there's a sense of urgency, if you like. You're running out of time, everything's urgent. You get so much pressure, acknowledge it. And now you're gonna down regulate. There's many different kinds, but what we're gonna do right now is just some breath work.

Speaker 1: 15:33

I like this one because you can do it anytime, anywhere, even if you're driving. Let's sort together Really quickly inhale for four, two, three, four. Hold for seven, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Exhale for eight, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, amazing, repeat five times. But you should feel something even in the first round.

Speaker 1: 16:08

If you're in the hyper aroused, do not do that exercise, even If you are feeling really low, really tired. I recommend right now Breathing really deep, really fast, 30 times. Okay, I'm gonna do it with you. You ready and go back to normal. You just oxygenated yourself. Okay, this, when someone is in low mood, your brain, according to the brain scans, shows the human brain Literally doesn't have enough energy. So by you breathing in fast and deep and you know, obviously not into hyperventilation Then your brain gets the energy it needs. Because when someone is hyper aroused in the free state different kind of stress response they're not breathing properly. Okay, so we've restored you back to order. All right, that's how powerful it is.

Speaker 1: 17:07

And when I was sitting there through his whole podcast episode telling you the importance of emotional health, how, how hard was that? So easy. I'm just inviting you to do that all the time, to go. Okay, what am I feeling right now? I feel out of control. Cool, I'm just too charged. I need to relax. Cool, oh, I'm feeling really tired. I'm motivated. Oh, I'm just dysregulated. In the other direction. I'm just gonna pump myself up, cool, awesome. And so when it when, now that you've done that, you go to the family event okay, you're regulated. That means you're thinking, you're thinking right, but then you get triggered again. This is what it gonna do. You're gonna go to the bathroom, you're gonna regulate yourself and then You're going to Tell yourself this you're ready, I Am under no obligation to commit to who I've been five minutes ago.

Speaker 1: 17:58

I'm gonna say that again. I'm gonna make it easier. I do not have to commit to the person I was five minutes ago. I Did not have to commit to the person I was five minutes ago. Really, own that. I Want you to walk back in to that function or that event and your version of yourself. Do not commit to who you were five minutes ago. You don't have to. You're. You're that powerful and the boundaries you already know the boundaries. You already know that you don't want to say yes when you mean no.

Speaker 1: 18:35

And guess what? You know how I keep going on about emotional health and how stress is the main cause of everything and it's the foundation of your life. I'm about to blow you away. One of the symptoms of being dysregulated, aka stressed, is being a people pleaser and most of the time when you have no boundaries or when you struggle to enforce them and own them, it's because you're dysregulated in the first place. How fucking powerful.

Speaker 1: 19:04

I hope that this has made you really excited and given you excitement and motivation to really get serious about stress regulation, like yesterday, because you can now see that is the fastest way to solve most of your problems. Excuse me, and that a lot of the mistakes that I believe most people make in solving any of their problems, especially around the holiday season, is they try to solve every problem Overwhelmed. Of course they're overwhelmed. They look at these 200 problems. I don't know how to have money, I don't have enough time. How am I going to wrap this present? How am I going to do this? How am I going to say no to my mother-in-law? How am I going to stick up for myself in this situation when I always don't? 200 problems and all those problems not all, most of those problems are just reactions of your stress response.

Speaker 1: 19:55

And guess what? The fastest way to solve your problems is to be in control of your stress. When you're in control of your stress, you stop making silly decisions with money, you stop screwing up your boundaries. You stop making people please. You recover faster. You clean your nervous system as you go and it's like going to the gym. Every single time you regulate yourself. By the way, it is you putting a rep into your stress muscle. If your stress was a muscle, think of it as a muscle. It is you depositing wellness into your wellness bank every single time you did that breath work either one. And there's multiple, countless other regulation techniques and you're going to find some of my favorite ones in the cheat sheet down again. Please download that cheat sheet.

Speaker 1: 20:38

And before we end this episode, this awesome episode, I'm going to quickly quiz you because I told you I was going to do that so that you have an opportunity to be engaged, because guess what? You're so welcome. Mental engagement is a form of upregulation. It is a way to regulate stress if you're feeling really unmotivated, tired or in a bad mood. The fact that I told you there's going to be a quiz at the end of this, it caused you to be more engaged, and mental engagement is again hear me out is a regulation technique of stress. I'm here for the 5D experience. You know, just to listen to this podcast, you get to experience this podcast.

Speaker 1: 21:13

So let me quickly quiz you. What is the foundation to our lives? Amazing, amazing. The answer is stress. What is a good idea for you to do? If you are in the family, function or event and you're feeling really triggered. What do you do? Good job. The correct answer is go into the bathroom and regulate yourself.

Speaker 1: 21:48

Next question, your last question how do you regulate yourself? What are the three steps? Yay, I'm hoping and assuming you got most of it right. Do you not pressure yourself? You got it wrong, it's so fine. This is the correct answer.

Speaker 1: 22:04

Step one identify what kind of stress you have Hyper or hypo. Number two either up or down regulate. And number three is process that it's just telling yourself it's done. Because if you don't tell yourself, oh, it's done, then well, it's not as powerful. Okay, and I didn't say that in the episode, but that's why I said it's okay, we got most of it right. So if you got the first two right, you got it right. Okay.

Speaker 1: 22:31

So Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, whatever you celebrate or you don't celebrate, happy holidays, okay. I want to be inclusive for everyone. That's why I didn't call it Christmas stress. I called it holiday stress. I send you so much love. Thank you for your patience. There was a two week break in the podcast, but don't worry, we're back in action, giving you weekly amazing, digestible episodes to support you in your wellness, fulfillment and mental health journey, because leaders, leaders are the leaders and you're here to lead by example, to be the healthy example to your employees, to your colleagues, to your family, to your children and to your organization. And when you are operating at the best, optimal level aka knowing how to be in control of your stress and emotions then you truly have more power than you could ever dream of and you'll be able to have the most level of influence. So much love and I'll see you next week, ciao.